Not so many years ago I was scared to pray with other people. I could pray on my own, and often did, but praying when other people could hear what I was saying terrified me.
I wanted to be a part of what my church was doing, but I would avoid prayer meetings. I was afraid that if I went along, somebody might expect me to pray!
I really wanted to be able to pray with other people and I asked God to give me courage and boldness.
One sunny afternoon I met up with Paul, one of the elders of our church, I can’t remember what the purpose of the meeting was, but at the end of our time together he said: “Shall we pray?”
What I wanted to say was “No! I don’t want to!” but I am a Christian and Christians are supposed to love praying. So I agreed, with much fake enthusiasm.
Paul started praying and all the time I was dreading him stopping, because I knew he would then expect me to pray. Of course the time came when he finished his prayer and I said “Amen”.
There was a long silence until eventually Paul realised that “Amen” was the only contribution he was going to get from me.
“It would have been nice to have heard you pray as well.” he said.
“You had already said everything. I agreed with everything you said, but I had nothing more to add” was my feeble answer.
What he said next got me thinking;
“It would have really encouraged me to hear you tell God that.”
That one meeting with Paul was the start of a massive change in the way I thought and felt about prayer. If all I had to do was agree with other peoples prayers,... I could do that!
I started to attend prayer meetings and would for the most part just listen. I was hearing people pray and learning how to pray with others.
Then I started adding my own very short prayers. Initially agreeing with other people, but eventually started adding in some more original prayers that I felt God had put on my heart.
It was a couple of years later that Simon our lead elder asked me if I would be willing to lead a prayer meeting. I knew I had to say yes, if I had spent any time thinking about it I wouldn’t have done it. So I immediately agreed.
Then the worry kicked in. Leading a prayer meeting isn’t just praying. It also involves my other great fear; public speaking!
I reminded myself that it was only a small meeting. It wouldn’t involve the whole church. I had agreed to do it, and I wasn’t going to back out.
I made some notes of the areas we were going to pray about and planned a few short things to say to introduce each section. I then practised the meeting on my own again and again and again, imagining as vividly as I could that I was in a huge room filled with people.
The day of the meeting came. I didn’t feel ready, but I ran the prayer meeting exactly as I had practised it.
I was amazed when people came over to me afterwards telling me how well I had done.
After the meeting I went to my quite place and thanked God for everything He was doing in me and for the great privileged of serving Him in this way. I told Him I want to do more prayer meetings and I want to continue to grow in courage and boldness to do the work He has for me.
The Lord was obviously happy with that idea because since that day I have run more prayer meetings than I can count.
I am also very happy to pick up one of those scary microphone things and talk to as many people as are willing to hear what I have to say.
I love to help people who are fearful like I was; to show them how they too can step out and be bold for God.
I am now a fully accredited Christian Confidence Coach helping Christians who feel held back by fear, develop confidence & achieve amazing Godly outcomes.
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